Express your anger to YOURSELF before turning the page
We all know the story of the pretty girl in love with her blue eyed boy, who has never expected that everything will vanish a beautiful morning in the blink of an eye. Well, it happened! I am laughing right now. I promised my friend Karen to write something about heartbreaks. First let me start this: love is beautiful! Love is awesome… Can you imagine the pure feelings which a voice speaking through the phone can produce in you? Such melted emotions of happiness, completeness, peace and harmony. Love is really beautiful… until the day of the heartbreak.
I was recently navigating through my last break-up, with all its components: pain, doubts, insecurities, toxic expectations, illusions and self-confidence decrease you know. It’s such a thing… And realized that I did everything except speaking my anger out. I couldn’t remember the time I shouted my truth to a vanishing boyfriend, because some people just disappear as in a fairy tale, without a word, a call, an explanation, a last kiss or a last hug…. I really love hugs (smiles). Before moving forward, please read my definition of a relationship. For me a relationship is when you both agree on doing a heart to heart listening, you agree on sharing your hidden emotions, your spaces including your time with each other. At some point, all relationships are equal in terms of emotional commitment. It’s a common decision to bringing a sort of support to each other, just like putting materials together to build an edifice.
Let me give the example of Lego games. Did you ever tried to build your truck using your Lego pieces? And had one of your relatives ever tried to remove his favorite colored piece from the bottom of your truck? Imagine you put almost an hour in building that beautiful colored truck and a little hand coming from nowhere comes and removes one favorite piece… Things will fall apart! When it happens you just shout and ask: “Why have you done this”? I am sure you will get a response “This is mine!”
Unfortunately, we don’t often get replies in break-ups and instead start a vicious cycle of trying to find the reason in our minds and trying to draw many excuses, or self-accusations. We shouldn’t because, when someone decides to go away from your life, you should let it be… But make sure you speak your truth to YOURSELF. You should stop finding excuses which will only make you waste a lot of your precious time and energy. It’s important to express how bad you felt, it’s important to admit that the other person did wrong to you, it’s important to understand that the other has made a choice and no matter what that choice is, you have to accept it and move. Don’t hold unto the past.
Speak it to yourself until you accept it. The best you deserve is always forward and most of the time, just around the corner…